Write #5 – Guilt

This week, I think I learnt a very valuable lesson. I was suffering from something that had never troubled me before in life. For the last 5 days, I had been suffering with a huge burden on my head. It was weighing me down and making me absolutely miserable. I felt like I was Atlas, holding up the entire earth and wishing I could just throw it all aside and find a hole to bury myself in. But finally after numerous talks (and fights and arguments!) with my girlfriend, she identified the problem as guilt. And more importantly, she convinced me that I was suffering from guilt. And once I found that out, my head was light as a feather. Suddenly I was happy again.

Let me just make the whole situation clear. Couple of days ago, I was at the peak of frustration and had absolutely no idea why I was feeling miserable (Check out the post from 2 days ago). It turns out that all this time I was feeling guilty for not performing my best, for having spent so much money and not getting the most out of it, for not being at all the places I was ‘meant’ to be. But thanks to my girlfriend, I was finaly able to identify the problem as guilt. And the surprising thing is, the minute I realised what the problem was, I was able to just brush it aside! It is true that “Knowing is the half the solution”. In this particular case, it turned out to be the complete solution.

Pushing it aside was quite easy. I realised there was nothing to feel guilty about and that it was completely natural. I’m a normal human being and there’re only so many things that I can accomplish in a given time. I feel like a new man.

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